Another day I was speaking to somebody who talked about what a friend of theirs had done previously and it was clear they hadn’t managed to proceed from what had occurred. Quite a few years had passed since that moment, but it was like it had happened the day before.
Hearing about this reminded me of the challenges I’ve had with my mom, and how hard it’s been for me to slowly proceed from what happened during my first years. It was immaterial as to how many years had passed since that moment, as I was not able to easy let go and to live in the present moment.
During the start of my recovery journey, my mind was often consumed by what my mom had or had not done. This then stopped me from having the ability to detach from what was occurring within me.
I was frequently full of anger, anger, and even despise; part of me wanted revenge. And, because of how powerful this part of me was, it would take over my entire being and prevent me from having the ability to be a conscious human being.
However, though I had all this going on within me, I seldom voiced what was occurring. I was carrying plenty of injury, which meant that I felt secure enough to express my feelings.
Along with this, I was told as a kid not to get mad and that it was incorrect. If I did express my rage, I might have been told off or hit, and this was the final thing that I desired to encounter.
Hooked But when I did get in touch with how I felt, I’d feel strong and alive, which makes it difficult for me to see just how destructive this was.
It slowly became evident that this was doing me more harm than good, and this was primarily because it had been perpetuating what I was through as a kid. The only way I would have the ability to grow and to reside at the moment was to let go. It was then like this was a very simple process, if I had been ready to go through with it.
As time passed it became increasingly obvious that this wasn’t a psychological process or something which would only happen; it was something which would taken place through confronting the way I felt and processing my pain.
In The Core
I came to find that the pain in my body was keeping the past alive and preventing me from having the ability to live at the moment.
I ended up using a lot of different therapists and healers, and that I had a good deal of yelling to do. The crying let me give up a whole lot of the pain that I experienced as a kid. Yet, through being conscious of the damage that’s being done, it is going to be clear how important it is to let go.
Finally, holding on just prolongs our own distress; it does not affect the man who was involved. So, if you’re holding onto what happened previously and you wish to proceed, reach out for the ideal support.